Well, a few days after writing the beautiful inspired words on my blog “Anything is possible”, my world felt like it was crashing. I just earned or earning a master’s degree and phd. I went through the past 4-6 months – mourning of several losses, anxiety, new bosses, an ever changing job landscape at my current setting, job interviews that did not work out, flooding at home, annoying neighbors, physically left a toxic relationship with nuclear family, going through the process of anger and forgiveness yet see somehow love within to keep going and building the said relationship, growing and healing from the past emotional trauma, family and work pressure, moving home, in the process of finding and moving again, changing my core beliefs to one that is supportive and expansive, seeing people be happy in their lives and despite all my world changing, I felt happy for them, being sad and lonely and coming through it again, still feeling and transmuting anxiety and deep sadness, money issues, changing the victim attitude, physical challenges as my brain and body has been stretched. Through it all, I am still standing through the roller coaster. What is next? I hope some stability to regain my bearing and some peace of mind. I am grateful as I type this because I have been given angels here and there to offer words of comfort, support and kindness as I go through this (whatever it is).
Now, I just finished writing all the belief that has held me back. What an hour or two! It started with two and it went on! ( I apologize for the word diarrhea and if at times the words do not come from my heart but my mind… it’s a process, what can I say)
– Life is hard.
– I am alone.
– I am tired.
– If I am having a hard time managing these stressors, how will I manage with life over the next few months
– It is too late to go for your dreams.
– It is not safe.
– I do not know.
– I am confused and unclear
– Time is running out.
– Pressure in my chest
– I have limited options and resources
– I will make the wrong choice and suffer
– My brain is fried.
– I should settle for less and not be a perfectionist.
– I have anger issues with parents and unresolved emotions.
Positive reinforcement to neutralize the above:
– I am supported in ways of my choosing. Life can have challenges at times but nothing is permanent. Life gives us choices. I will pull through this one step at a time. I am supported in this forward movement despite the illusion of being alone. I will and am managing the best way I could. Energy is shifting within. Take my time to assimilate.
– I am NEVER alone despite the illusion. My family and friends support me the best way they know how. I release judgements and expectation. I am going to manage somehow.
– I release my resistance to life. My mind still labels things as positive and negative. I do not know the outcome! I do not know where angels (physical/non physical) and circumstances will show up as miracles to help me through.
– My mind, emotional well-being and body – are tools given by God. God is infinite; therefore, my mind, body and emotions can tap into this infinite power of source. I draw from this universal source to allow me to move with least resistance or transmute anxiety and be inspired by life’s offering – yes even the offering that has beauty in it and where it doesn’t resonate, I can just let it pass. I have made choices over the past few months that moved me with the same time restrictions and I found a way somehow. God can send help.
– I feel overwhelmed at times and it is ok. I just earned a master’s degree and phd……
– I cannot put handcuffs on God. Life may have been difficult and lonely but it doesn’t have to be like this forever. God is my stabilizing force – not material things, not a job, not anything else. God is my anchor.
– It is safe to express myself. It is safe to express and grow into my new being. It is safe to grow up. What must I do to reconcile as the resistance is strong? (some inner wisdom urged these words: Dear inner child, what our parents went through is theirs to deal with. We offered our services to help transmute this so as God is my witness, I release this safety/not safe issue over to you – whatever your angels can help move and transmute, please do so.)
– I do not know what to do is an OK response. Yes, I am still figuring things out for myself but there are certain things in life that offer no direction. I am creating new steps and it is ok to not know. God still helps me and I can live in each moment to figure out myself and what I do know at this moment. At this moment, what I do know is that I am ok right now yet the pressure is emerging; somehow I have to respect timing of things. (I am transmuting pressure….). I now move into acceptance of what is and transmute with God’s aid the feeling in my tummy that screams otherwise.
– Life is infinite, not a contest or a first come first serve though it may feel at times. Life is here at this time. Time is infinite, not limited. Everything is happening at this time so I release the hold of 3rd dimension energy as God’s angels help me to do so and to stretch time. I do not know how things will unfold so I ask God to help me transmute the pressure building in my chest.
– The belief of limitation comes from a formula of how success is. I allow life to unfold for me so I may have a kinder and graceful and more balanced view of life and success. The way media works – is that it shows only certain levels of success and ways of achieving it. Why limit myself by an already limiting formula? God is my anchor and my source of nourishment, success and strength. Anything is possible.
– I have choices – right or wrong, I am supported to make changes. Life doesn’t have a big suffering repercussion. This is what my ancestors or even past life has experienced now I surrender this to God. In this new timeline, I create new neuropath waves in my head, brain and body because anything that screams “die and suffer” is transmuting to God’s violet flame. I am the violet flame of God’s life force that knows only grace, allowing, transmuting, acceptance, forward movement, love, joy and blessings of miracles. Life itself is a miracle; therefore, I take ownership of anything that has not done yet – in particular – anything that brings me joy, creative expression of the divine authentic self, inner balance, inner core strength. I do this through Christ’ energy. Amen.
– My body and brain are miracle expressions of life. It is regenerating. I am getting healthier each and every moment. My memory is intact and is getting better. I have accessed memories from the past and so if I forgot a thing or two yesterday even during job interviews when I repeat my questions, then so be it. It was not meant for me. I let go; another is at hand.
– I have a high standard. Life was about shorting and settling for less for me. God wants me to be happy and to express myself in ways that bring me joy – even material wealth and finding a physical home that will support my well-being. I am going to find my home. I am finding my home within. I am learning to enjoy life through a different expression such as a higher standard of living. Will I “fail”? Again, life is not about pass or fail. Life is about living. I just earned my phd so failure is a dismissive concept.
– I am a warrior by nature. I do not need to suffer from my own emotional turmoil. I change the emotional ties in my heart for where there is chaos and static from others, I offer only neutrality. Everybody has their choice – regardless of what I do or not for them; they have their own answers. I have my own answers. I love myself enough to know to anchor myself in God’s divine perception: accepting what is, being emotionally unaffected, becoming an observer of things or people or even of myself, allowing others to be, forgiving and letting go of expectations and the past, allowing myself to be at peace, transmuting internal turmoil, being at peace with me and life. I make peace with life. I shake its hand as I offer my love to God and life and as I allow it to nourish my spirit at this time of need and change. I further anchor myself to God’s love, protection, energy and expansiveness.
I see myself in my new home – bare as it is, yet I am happy and content. That is a new vision that I am welcoming with all my heart! 🙂 I feel the expansiveness of my self. All is well. All is being taken care of. I am well. I allow my expansive divine self to run the show.