I am feeling uneasy. Where is this coming from? What is true from my soul’s perspective?
I just feel anxious. I don’t know where it’s coming from! OK! How do I feel through, snap out of it, etc…? At this time, I am feeling anxious and I am alone. There is nothing at this time that should be causing me anxiety. At the same time, my mind likes to raise to what if something is really crazy happening and I’m feeling like this? How do I operate?
If it’s not mine, I release it. If it’s mine, I take ownership of this feeling and release it. I’m not dying, dead or getting dead so there is no need for anxiety. I am safe despite feeling anxious/anxiety. It is safe to feel this way and just to let it flow without having to put much meaning or thought into it.
I wonder how long this will last. How fascinating! Just letting things be.…clearing my mind, my thoughts, my energy, etc….this “detachment” of an emotion.
How do I further disconnect from feelings of density such as anxiety, anger, negativity, etc….. and still remain calm, emotionally “detached” while still keeping love, kindness, compassion? How do I allow this energy of “surrender to life” in moments that require movement/action, assertiveness? This is such a nice energy! There is this calm surrender to what is – knowing that at this moment, I am OK. I am safe. I am just breathing the air and just being in the now. I grab this energy and embrace it more. A part of my brain wants to say what if in chaotic settings, can I still do this? (Amusing that I bring up the same concern! OMG, this pesky little worry mind is persistent!) A part of me wants to “shoo this surrender away” – this need of my brain to go to the future and just recreate this calmness during chaos. Ironically, there is no chaos as I type these words. It is fascinating how screw up things can get for us; just imagine in moments of crisis where our brain focuses on 10 different things – from problem identifying, problem resolution and whatever else is there!
So what can I take on from this moment of strength and centeredness? What do I take on from this moment of great calmness and knowing? God is love. I am perfect. All is well. This is a unique feeling and unique experience. A part of my brain and my solar plexus is reacting; it doesn’t know what to do but find chaos. Have I been living in such drama and chaos all my life that in moments of sheer peace, my human capacity and habit is to imagine the “next worse feeling or experience” in order to relate?
Fascination is the new energy I’m going to take. Fascination is the new experience I’d like to grow inside of me. Fascination – yes, even in moments of tidings or crisis! Do I wish I can be as fascinated in moments of problems or emotional turmoil? Of course! This moment is a true blessing. If this inner calmness and surrender is another way of being, I truly welcome it and am grateful for it. I do not care about how my brain likes to go to the future at this time. I do not care how my “inner child” likes to go to the past. Something in my soul whispers and just does not want to go “there”. I just want to soak myself in this pureness of being – that’s another word to explain this experience. Pureness of being – I don’t even have a full definition for it. There is this pure slate of blankness or “is-ness”. This is what I am truly experiencing and taking from this moment. This gift of silence and soul surrender is truly a blessing.
As I live more, I welcome and open myself to this new state of being. I like it! I love it! No worries. No stress. No problems. No future or past. No anything. I am just typing these words, finding each second beautiful; each moment is a blessing. This is going to be a very long blog. I want to just go on and on right now. Is this a moment of bliss where there is no fighting nor need to be elsewhere and just is-ness? This is a pretty neat experience! I allow this new energy to magnify within me and extend outwardly. There is no need to pretend to be otherwise. There is no need to live in the chaos or madness of whatever is “out there” because inside of me is this new energy that transforms and transmutes anything else. This is a gift from God who has touched my soul at this time. I allow this and embrace this as I walk this world but not be lost in it. God bless this path and widen it. As I read this blog next time, I call forth this energy of bliss and pureness of being that exist within and will it to fruition. Enjoy the rest of the day!
Obviously, I’ve shifted! There is light at the end of the tunnel!